How often do you use a variation of the phrase in the title? Whenever the concept of habits and vices comes up in conversation with friends and acquaintances this idea seams to surface. Most people would say they’re in control of their damaging or unwanted behaviors.

One thing that needs to be a more universal concept is that habits and dare I say it — addictions — need to be greater understood. I say the word addiction and your brain likely jumps to the extreme: celebrities overdosing, homeless people shooting up on the street, kids and Fortnite. That’s not it at all. That’s like me saying the word “religion” and your brain immediately jumping to the crusades.

Addiction is from what I’ve seen, vastly more pervasive than anyone cares to admit. By definition addiction is “A persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior or substance.”

Now, think. How many aspects of your life fall under that definition? I can think of a few off the top of my head. I feel a compulsion to eat food, specifically junk food, when I’m bored. I doubt I’m hungry or need the sustenance — my primary motivation for eating — but I still do it. My phone also comes to mind. I’ll admit, I feel antsy if I don’t know where my phone is. Sometimes, I’ll absentmindedly reach for my phone even if it isn’t there. For a period I couldn’t even take a shit without having my phone to entertain me. On a surface level these behaviors are fairly innocuous. If I confided in you that I had a problem with eating snacks and being on my phone you’d probably laugh, say that you relate somehow, and we’d move on without skipping a beat in the conversation.

Technological addiction has become a talking point as much as the weather and nobody bats an eye. Imagine casually talking about your cocaine addiction in front of the water cooler with your co-worker? We practically do that with the concept of caffeine dependence. Nobody cares. There isn’t a war on addiction going on in this nation. There is a war on addictions we don’t like, namely: opiates, cigarettes, various other narcotics, and to a much lesser extent, alcohol.

Cigarettes are a fascinating look into the world of sociological opinion when it comes to addiction and dependence, dependence being the substance-specific nomenclature for addiction. Cigarettes (normal, not the jazz kind), once as ubiquitous as water fountains or restrooms, have gone from integral to frowned-upon. The unsettling realization by our past few generations that lies had been perpetuated by the money-makers to cover their asses has created a population of jaded individuals. There’s a reason the nicotine vape explosion has the FDA concerned and Facebook moms shitting their pants.

Most families contain a smoker or an ex-smoker. Most encourage the smoker to quit and the ex-smoker to keep going with abstinence. For good reason! We want our loved ones to live healthier, longer lives and we understand now the implications of a cigarette addiction. The funny thing is, people still smoke. So forget the research, the cautions, the taxes. Something about this addiction brings people back. We need to explore this more. Stop blaming the cigarettes and the companies and explore why we humans have self-destructive tendencies. Sure, if the temptation of the cig were gone then people wouldn’t be as likely to pick up the habit. If not a cigarette then these individuals would find something else to fill the void (See rampant alcoholism in a society that prohibits less destructive intoxicants).

Self-destructive behaviors. Everyone’s got them. I had a Juul habit for the past two years that I’ve only recently quit. I don’t call myself an ex-addict because all it takes is one puff off that little robot and I’m back on the wagon. We need to update that expression, by the way. I’m back in the Uber, bitch. Back to the topic. I haven’t hit a Juul in a little over a month from my records. Yep, I keep records of this kind of thing. If you’re serious about changing a habit or behavior then documenting it is incredibly effective. Imagine playing a video game but having no recollection of how far you’ve progressed? It’d be a lot less satisfying I’d imagine. I’ve actually removed a number of damaging habits from my life in the past few years. Subsequently, I’ve had to address a lot of subconscious unpleasantness about how I see my past self. It’d be weird to feel negatively about who I’m going to be because I have no idea so I don’t usually feel those emotions about future me.

Substance use and compulsive behavior often covers up the shit-storm underneath. We’re all going through life and it ain’t easy, no matter where you’re at socioeconomically. I challenge you to find someone who doesn’t have regrets about something they did in the past. Not just things they did, either. I’m talking things done to you that have stuck with you and cause you some kind of grief. Perhaps it’s subconscious, like not being able to handle criticism or not being able to acknowledge shortcomings. Either way, every human being goes through these struggles. Even the most ideal person probably feels bad for being too perfect, I don’t know. The point is, for us to even begin to address the problems of addiction, we need to empathize and find our role in the concept. Are we judging others, unaware of our own dependencies? Have we conquered an addiction and don’t even realize it? What habits do we rely on now that may slip into something more serious in a less comfortable future?

Ask yourself these questions from time to time. You may not be able to solve everyone’s problems for them but I firmly believe mass change happens on an individual level. We feel helpless when we hear about pollution and war and suffering but the only thing we truly control is the future of our personal vessel. By awakening yourself to your suffering you can begin to heal, and once the healing is complete you can help heal others (ensure your oxygen mask is secured before helping those around you). Ideas and behaviors spread like a disease within our society. If we try to spread the good things, we can all make a difference, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

Let me just say before I finish that I have an incredibly addictive personality and will probably never truly break free from its clutches. It has manifested in various ways since my childhood and I’m likely to have fit the category of a fiend, aka someone you’d look down on and feel better about yourself by watching. That being said, if you’re suffering from any kind of addiction: I fucking feel ya. Don’t get down because you suffer from these things. Some of us are more prone to it than others. Like any handicap, mental or physical, it can be worked around to create a happy, fulfilling life. Don’t ever let someone make you feel like you’re lesser because your self-control doesn’t come so easily. Listen to what they’re saying and why they’re saying it and prove to them that it won’t stop you. I’ll always have more admiration for the guy in a wheelchair who gets through a marathon than the able-bodied person who breezes through it. Meditate often. Exercise. Find a hobby that occupies your hands. It helps a lot, trust me.

Talk to you soon

-AnonDoob